Red Flags of a Potential Abuser

These behaviors and emotions do not outline a batterer but may indicate a potential batterer.

He grew up in a violent family

He was abused as a child

His father abused his mother

He uses force to solve problems

He is quiet about his past relationships

He is a heavy alcohol user

He has traditional views about the roles of men and women

He wants to monopolize your time

You are his only friend

He starts talking marriage as soon as he meets you

He expects you to follow his orders or advice

He becomes verbally abusive when he is angry

He has low self-esteem and you are the only one who can "help" him

He breaks promises

He breaks furniture, things, or punches holes in walls

Children are uncomfortable around him

He has extreme highs and lows

He is unable to handle frustration

He blames you or others for his problems

He says he "can’t live without you"

If he is doing the following, he is an abuser and isn’t likely to quit without intervention:

He pushes you around

He calls you sexual terms like "whore" or "bitch"

He humiliates you alone or in public

He ever forces you to have sex

He constantly criticizes you

He is cruel to pets

Your children are afraid of him

He plays with weapons and threatens others with them

You are afraid to behave in a certain way because of what he might do or say

He hits, kicks, bites, or uses weapons on you

He threatens to harm you, himself, or others if you leave