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Strategies For Avoiding Acquaintance/Date Rape

Risks for Females

You may be more vulnerable to rape if:

bulletYou are unable to talk about sex with your partner,
bulletYour decisions about sex are based on peer pressure,
bulletYou hitchhike,
bulletYour relationship with the opposite sex is unequal,
bulletYou drink excessively,
bulletYou are unable to say "NO" assertively,
bulletYou haven't thought about what you want sexually before you become sexually involved.

Self-Protection Skills for Females

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Communicate any discomfort you feel with another person's behavior.  Don't make excuses.  Respond assertively.

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Don't isolate with anyone you just met especially if they behave in a way that signals trouble.  Be especially suspicious of someone who tries to get to close and enjoys your discomfort; who stares you down; who blocks your way; who touches you in intimate places "by accident"; someone who acts likes he knows you more intimately than de does on purpose; someone who doesn't listen or respond when you say "NO" or show your discomfort.

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Do not get drunk so that you can't handle your own behavior or can't help a friend who may need you.

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Always have a way to get home that doesn't isolate you with someone you just met.  Don't sleep over because you can't get home.  Make a deal with your parents to be able to call home for a ride (no questions asked) if you feel at risk.

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Pay attention to what's happening around you and trust your feelings.  If you feel "uh - oh I hope this won't happen," then you are feeling vulnerable and need to find a way out of the situation.  If it feels like you are being pressured then you are.  If a friend tells you she feels uncomfortable about a situation or a person, tell her you believe her and help her to trust her feelings as an early warning sign.

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Believe in your right to set sexual limits for yourself.  Learn how to communicate these limits and how to assert yourself by saying "NO" assertively when you mean "NO" and "YES" when you mean "YES."

Risks for Males

You may force your partner to have sex although you did not plan to rape if:

bulletYou are unable to talk about sex with your partner,
bulletYour decisions about sex are based on peer pressure,
bulletYour relationship with the opposite sex is unequal,
bulletYou drink,
bulletYou hear "Yes" or "Maybe" when your partner says "NO,"
bulletYou do not know what your partner wants sexually before you become sexually involved,
bulletYou expect sex because of how your partner dresses, acts, or behaves, because you spent money on her, or had sex with her before.
bulletYou did not ask for and receive consent.  In Montana, persons under the age of 16 are unable to give their consent to sex.

Prevention Skills for Males

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Know your sexual limits.  Be aware of the affect peer pressure has on your decision here.  Remember it's okay not to have sex.

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Accept that "NO" means "NO."  Believe in another person's right to say no (even yours).

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Don't assume previous permission for sexual contact applies to the current situation (eliminates force when person is asleep or drunk).

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Avoid excessive use of alcohol and drugs makes guys more sexually aggressive, affects judgment, communication and can lead to gang rape.

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Don't assume behavior is a signal for sex.  Remember thinking someone wants sex is not the same as knowing for sure.

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Don't use peer pressure to reinforce negative behaviors regarding women and sex and discourage friends from sexually aggressive behavior.

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Thinking you have more of a right to your desires or you are better than the other person can lead to date rape.  Date women as your equal.

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Never force a woman to have sex.  Know and consider the legal consequences of doing so.