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Early Warning Signs

Extreme Jealousy

Everyone gets jealous sometimes; the key word is "extreme".  Both boys and girls can become extremely jealous.  Signs of extreme jealousy are when your partner gets mad if you talk to other people, have good friends, or express warm feelings for anyone else.  The jealous person may withdraw, sulk, or become angry and abusive.

Possessiveness

The becomes a danger sign when someone treats you as if you were a belonging.  The possessive person will not want you to share your time or give your attention to anyone else.

Controlling Attitude

This happens when one partner completely rules the relationship and makes all the decisions.  Your point of view is not important.  Often the controlling partner tries to tell the other how to dress, who to talk to, and where to go.

Low Self-Esteem

People with low self-esteem don't like themselves very much.  In a dating relationship, a person with low self-esteem may say, "I am nothing without you" or "You are my world".  These are great lines for songs, but not for real life.

Unpredictable mood swings

Nobody stays in the same mood all the time, but a shift from being jealous, controlling, or angry to being sweet, charming, and loving is another danger sign.

Alcohol and Drug Use

Many of the reported violent episodes in dating relationships are carried out when one or both partners have been drinking or doing drugs.  Alcohol and drug use lower a person's self-control but are not the direct cause of violence.

Explosive Behavior

Even if you have never seen someone being aggressive toward another person, watch out for people who seem to get too angry.  These people may hit walls, lockers, yell loudly, call names, or actually threaten others with violence.

Other Warning Signs

HE:

  1. Believes that the man should make all the decisions.

  2. Has a poor self-image.

  3. Is very jealous, won't let her talk to anyone else.

  4. Has outbursts of temper for no reason.

  5. Abuses alcohol or drugs.

  6. Wants to control her actions.

She:

  1. Has poor self image.

  2. Believes an abusive boyfriend is better than no boyfriend.

  3. Starts doing poorly in school.

  4. Is isolated from her former friends.

  5. Is dependent on him for all the decisions (where they go, what they do together, who they see).

  6. Is no longer in control of her life (he picks her clothes, hairstyle, etc.).

  7. Makes excuses for his behavior.