Adult Safety Plans

Safety: During an Explosive Incident

Remember ... You Don't Deserve to be Hit or Threatened

If an argument or violent incident seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.

1. Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, or stairwells would be best for your escape.

2. Park your car facing the quickest exit from your house.

3. Keep your purse and car keys ready and put them in a place where you can grab them quickly as you are leaving. Also keep an "escape bag" packed with clothing, medication, baby needs, cash, driver's license, checks, car/house title, extra pair of glasses, etc. and keep in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.

4. Give friends, neighbors and/or relatives permission to call the police.

5. Devise a code word/signal to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police. Don't give information to people you do not trust or to people who are friends with the batterer.

6. Teach your children how to use the telephone to contact the police and fire department.

7. Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).

8. Use your own instincts and judgment. Trust your gut. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the batterer what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself at all times.

9. Never pick up a weapon unless you know how and are willing to use it. A weapon can end up being used against you. Know ahead of time what you are capable of doing in terms of self-defense.

10. If all else fails, curl up in a ball and protect your head.

Safety: In Your Own Home

1. Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your doors. Reinforce or repair windows and doors. Obtain an alarm system or a dog. Install outside lights if possible. NEVER let your batterer into your residence.

2. Replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.

3. Install window bars and poles to wedge against doors.

4. Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them... where to hide, when to leave, how to call the police.

5. Inform your children's school, day care provider, parents of friends, etc. about who has permission to pick-up your children.

6. Get a telephone if you don't already have one. Get an unlisted number. Refuse to argue with batterer on the phone. If necessary hide a phone in your home to prevent batterer from disconnecting it. If you don't have a phone, contact SCCFF for a free 911 cell phone.

7. Hide or remove all weapons, knives, and ammunition. If the police are called, ask them to remove the weapons for you.

8. If possible, keep important documents (such as birth certificates, divorce decree, insurance policy, back papers, etc.) in a safety deposit box or with a neighbor or relative.

9. Inform neighbors, your pastor, friend and family that your partner no longer resides with you and to call the police if your ex-partner is observed near your residence.

Developing your own safety plan can help you think clearly and take protective action when faced with a potentially violent situation.

Be aware of the batterer's cues ...

Attitude

Language

Behavior

Body Language

Circumstances,

etc. before an assault. Try to leave before the assault, if possible.

Be aware of your own cues ...

Uneasiness

Anxiety

Irritability

Headaches

Stomach ache,

etc. which may indicate that you are feeling scared. Use these cues as warning signs to take care of yourself and your children.

Safety: With an Order of Protection

1. Keep your protection order with you at all times. If you change purses that should be the first thing that goes in.

2. Call 911 if your partner violates the protection order, right away don't wait an hour, day or week. Call 911 and Report it immediately.

3. Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.

4. Inform your family, friends, employer, and neighbors that you have an Order of Protection in effect.

5. If you leave the state you have the order of protection in be sure to keep the certified copy with you to show other courthouse and or law enforcement officers.

Where & How do I get an Order of Protection????

Where can I get the forms?

Sanders County Coalition for Families (SCCFF), 303 Main St, Suite 4, Thompson Falls

Sanders County Justice Court, Sanders County Courthouse, Thompson Falls

How much does it cost? It's FREE

How can SCCFF Help?

SCCFF can assist you with filling out the paperwork to apply for a order of protection

SCCFF can provide support throughout the entire court process and accompany you to your hearings.

SCCFF can explain how the court system works and provide you with answers to your questions.

SCCFF can provide crisis counseling, emotional support, guidance and information on community services available to help you cope with the impacts of the incident.

SCCFF can inform you about the Crime Victims Compensation Program and help you complete those forms.

Safety and Drug or Alcohol Use

Most people in this culture use alcohol. Many use mood-altering drugs. Much of this use is legal and some is not. The legal outcomes of using illegal drugs can be very hard on a battered women, may hurt her relationship with her children and put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her battering partner. Therefore, women should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of illegal drugs. But beyond this, the use of any alcohol or other drug can reduce a woman's awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her battering partner. Furthermore, the use of alcohol or other drugs by the batterer may give him/her an excuse to use violence. Therefore, in the context of drug or alcohol use, a woman needs to make specific safety plans.

If drug or alcohol use has occurred in you relationship with a battering partner, you should enhance you safety by the following:

1. If you are going to use, you can do so in a safe place and with people who understand the risk of violence and are committed to you safety.

2. To safeguard your children, you can take them to a family member or friends home for the night.

Safety: Emotional Health

The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by your partner is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for yourself takes courage and incredible energy.

For support during this stressful time call and Advocate at SCCFF 1-800-265-0415 or 406-827-3745. These number are for our 24 hour crisis hotline.

You can also attend workshops and support groups at SCCFF to gain support and strengthen your relationships with other people. Click here for a list of support groups offered by SCCFF.

Safety: Checklist

What you need to take when you leave home.

Identification

Driver's License

Order of Protection

Children's Birth Certificates

Your Birth Certificate

Money

Lease, Rental Agreement, House Deed

Bank Books

Check Books

Insurance Papers

House and Car Keys

Medications

Address Book

Pictures