 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Our Mission
The Mission of Sanders County Coalition for Families is to provide a safe haven and supportive services to victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse. Our Vision is to end violence against women and children by creating a safe community that promotes a culture of equality and respect in relationships.
Teen Dating
CHOOSING WHO TO DATE: Questions to ask when deciding who to date.
| Choose Respect :60 PSA on Teen Dating Abuse and Violence - Courtsey of Banyan Communications Videostream | Choose Respect.org, Video on Teen Dating & Violence - Courtsey of Banyan Communications Videostream |
| 1. Does this person talk to me and listen to me? 2. Does this person have good relationships with his or her family and friends? 3. Do you consider this person a friend? 4. Do you "act like yourself" when you are with this person? 5. Does this person have other interests besides you? |
6. Have you ever seen this person throw, hit, or break things? 7. Does this person abuse alcohol and/or drugs? 8. Is this person jealous of your friends or relatives? 9. Does this person ask for your opinion about things? 10. Is this person glad you have other friends, even opposite sex friends? |
Teen Dating Violence
Domestic Violence isn't just an adult problem -- it happens to teens also. 1 our of 10 high school students report that a date has turned violent. And violence doesn't get better with time. It usually gets worse. If you answer "yes" to any of the following questions, call the domestic violence hotline number to talk to someone who will listen or explore more to find out about teen dating violence.
What is Teen Dating Violence?
Dating violence is the physical, sexual, emotional or verbal maltreatment of a dating partner for the purpose of gaining control and power over that person.
Stats
Over 90% of injuries that occur in dating violence happen to the female.
1 out of every 3 dating relationships is violent.
52% of female murder victims are killed by their partners.
24% of female students have been victims of forced intercourse by grade 12.
Common Feelings Associated with Dating Violence
Fear: "I will never have another boyfriend." "I will be left out of social events - Homecoming, Prom, school dances and parties."
Hopelessness: "No way out."
Guilt: "It's my fault - I should be a better girlfriend and not make him angry." "If I stop going out with him he can't make it on his own."
Acceptance: "Guys always hit." "He's the captain of the football, basketball, wrestling, etc., team." "I'm lucky to be going out with him; all my friends think he is really cool."
Early Warning Signs...
Does Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend do any of the following to you?
Constantly criticize and call you names?
Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?
Humiliate you in front of others?
Discourage your relationships with friends or family?
Make you account for all your time?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Anger easily when drinking or using drugs?
Control your finances?
Destroy your personal property or sentimental items?
Hit, punch, slap, kick, or choke you?
Threaten to hurt you?
Use or threaten to use a weapon on you?
Force you to have sex when you don't want to?
Threatens suicide if you try to leave?
Early Warning Signs Continued...
Extreme Jealousy
Everyone gets jealous sometimes; the key word is "extreme". Both boys and girls can become extremely jealous. Signs of extreme jealousy are when your partner gets mad if you talk to other people, have good friends, or express warm feelings for anyone else. The jealous person may withdraw, sulk, or become angry and abusive.
Possessiveness
The becomes a danger sign when someone treats you as if you were a belonging. The possessive person will not want you to share your time or give your attention to anyone else.
Controlling Attitude
This happens when one partner completely rules the relationship and makes all the decisions. Your point of view is not important. Often the controlling partner tries to tell the other how to dress, who to talk to, and where to go.
Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem don't like themselves very much. In a dating relationship, a person with low self-esteem may say, "I am nothing without you" or "You are my world". These are great lines for songs, but not for real life.
Unpredictable mood swings
Nobody stays in the same mood all the time, but a shift from being jealous, controlling, or angry to being sweet, charming, and loving is another danger sign.
Alcohol and Drug Use
Many of the reported violent episodes in dating relationships are carried out when one or both partners have been drinking or doing drugs. Alcohol and drug use lower a person's self-control but are not the direct cause of violence.
Explosive Behavior
Even if you have never seen someone being aggressive toward another person, watch out for people who seem to get too angry. These people may hit walls, lockers, yell loudly, call names, or actually threaten others with violence.
Early Warning Signs Conclusion
Other Warning Signs
HE:
1. Believes that the man should make all the decisions.
2. Has a poor self-image.
3. Is very jealous, won't let her talk to anyone else.
4. Has outbursts of temper for no reason.
5. Abuses alcohol or drugs.
6. Wants to control her actions.
She:
1. Has poor self image.
2. Believes an abusive boyfriend is better than no boyfriend.
3. Starts doing poorly in school.
4. Is isolated from her former friends.
5. Is dependent on him for all the decisions (where they go, what they do together, who they see).
6. Is no longer in control of her life (he picks her clothes, hairstyle, etc.).
7. Makes excuses for his behavior.
Be Safe
Get to know your dates before being alone with them.
Tell your date up front what your sexual expectations are.
Create a plan for getting out of unsafe or uncomfortable situations.
Avoid drugs and alcohol - especially on dates.
Get Help
What do I do if I'm worried about my relationship?
Where Can I Get Help?
Friends
Parents
Trusted Teacher
Doctor
Relative
School Counselor
School Nurse